Our kids are constantly bombarded by the world. They bring those
mindsets home every day. Most of the time they aren't healthy for their
emotional well being. I've noticed that in my own kids that it's a
constant battle for us to keep them in a positive mindset. So I set up a
system that I'm going to share with you. You can take this and make one
that will fit the needs of your own children.
How To Make It Work For You
First I suggest figuring out what you can afford to do, what you want to accomplish, and what you want your kids to work on. My kids needed encouragement to basically be a good people. Where do you go for instructions on how to be a good person? The bible. So I decided to take Philippians 4:8 to heart. I wanted us to think on all the good things.
What You Will Need
Journal/notebook
Jars
Coins/Rocks/Marbles
Affirmations
Kindness Bank Worksheet
What is a Kindness Bank Worksheet?
This is where your going to put in all the things that you think will benefit your kids. Things that you can maintain at home. The one below is one that I have set up for my own children. If you can't tell my kids need to work on thinking of others, saying kind things to others and about themselves and doing new things and doing things that get them moving. I typed this up one afternoon and have revised it off and on. Then bought a cheap frame and hung it on the wall, with the affirmations, where they could read it whenever they needed to.
Kindness Bank
- Read a bible chapter, 3 coins each
- Chores without argument, 2 coins per day
- Ask others if you can get something for them when you get something for yourself 1 coin per day
- Compliment someone 1 coin per day
- Read Affirmations out loud 1 coin per day
- Help or Make meal for others 1 coin
- Run 1 lap around the house 2 coin per day
- Write in your journal 1 coin per day
- Write one line from Proverbs in your journal, 1 coin per day
- Write 5 things your thankful for in your journal, something different each day 1 coin
- Try something new in front of mom or dad, 2 coins up to 3 times a day
- Do something helpful without being asked 1 coin per day
- Complete 1 pages of bible puzzles or color pages for a coin up to 3 times a day
- Superbook quest, 1 coin per day
- Cursing, -2 coins per word
- Saying bad things about yourself or others, -3 coins each time
- Falsely accuse others, -10 coins
- Being violent (hurting others, throwing, slamming or kicking things),-5 coins
- Lying, -5 coins
- whiny voice, -2 coins
- Ask for something without a please, -1 coin
Everyone gets to keep the coins that they earned at the end of the month.
Small trip and prize at the end of the month for those that earn this month's goal.
The Why Behind The Setup Of This Kindness Bank
1. A Place for Jesus
This is something that I think will help the kids more than anything else. As parents. We get busy. We mess up. We miss things. If they have Jesus and the bible to go to. If they could get use to prayer and the bible as a safe place. That if they have a problem they can go to these things to find answers. How can we not give them these things to help them?
2.Affirmations
Affirmations are kind of like teaching them to be able to encourage themselves. To find the good in themselves even on the days they feel the worst. Look for the good. So I found some affirmations to print out and hang on the wall. I don't have the links for these but I suggest that you find ones that your child can read on their own and are in big writing so even if they don't read them aloud, they are noticeable. My children are older and I put these right above their computer or where they work on homework.
3. Keep Track
The kids need to be able to keep track of how well they are doing. We used pennies. I let them start with 50 pennies so that if mistakes happen in the beginning, then they still had more chances. I also made it extremely easy for them to earn them back. Doing pennies also gave them a chance to have a sort of allowance. Something to hold in their hand at the end of the month.
4. Accessible
Everything was where they could work on it whenever they wanted. Even the change was right where they could get to it to put their own coins in their bank. This is where I'm telling them I'm trusting them to be honest. Giving them a chance to prove we can some day trust them with more responsibilities. Losing some coins now and them learning it's not ok to steal or lie. Is better than them learning over something bigger and more upsetting later.
5. Parents
The lasting goal isn't for them to expect something for being good or doing these things. The lasting goal is that they decide on their own that these are things they like to do. These are things that make them feel good. That it is nice to help others and it makes things better at home when we use these things in our daily life. It wont happen overnight. We are changing habits, they will fight it. It will probably be a battle. But if we make these a choice for them. Let them know that these are choices that they need to make. That these changes of habit will make life better for everyone and the rewards are worth the work.
6. Reward
Lets just say my first reward system failed. I'd made it a competition, which did make them move faster but also pitted the kids against each other. Not a good thing so that changed. Then I realized that my trip and prize reward was to expensive for me to maintain. So I decided that these trips would be something in my budget. Like packing a cooler of food and going to a new park or a place free for us to visit. It's not about how much you spend on them it's about your time with them. By the end of the month they really do deserve an extra nice day even if all they did was adjust to these new ways of thinking. It's hard to change habits.
7. Family Effort
If you can, try to be an influence and show that you are doing these things too. I made the little banks for everyone in the family even though it was just three of us doing it. I told the kids that I don't need to have a bank because these things are just what I do. But they weren't convinced. So for a little while we had a notebook and we would write down what we did on the list with how much we earned each day. I would add to my bank too. So they could see what mom was getting too. Sometimes they are so busy they can't see what mom actually does and this was a bit of an "Oh!" thing for them.
8. Journal
This is something that I've encouraged quite a bit. The kids need a safe place to complain, express emotions and tell about their day. So these are just for them. The only thing they show me are the things they want to share or to show that they did write things that they are thankful for. To make it a bit more interesting I encouraged them have different color writing utensil to write with for different emotions. This is to teach them to identify what they are feeling during their day.
9. Superbook
This is a phone app that has games and puzzles that can help learn bible verses and entertain them. I put it on there so that if we are somewhere like in a waiting room they can still earn coins.
Free For You
Here is what I've tried to get a pdf or something made so that you can fill it in however you would like. Unfortunately all my efforts have not worked so you should be able to copy and paste what is provided below with my complete permission.
Kindness Bank
- Read a bible chapter,________________ per_______________
- Chores without argument, ______________ per ______________
- Ask others if you can get something for them when you get something for yourself, ______________ per _______________
- Compliment someone, _______________per_______________
- Read Affirmations out loud, _______________per______________
- Help or Make meal for others, ______________per______________
- Run 1 lap around the house, _______________ per ______________
- Write in your journal, _________________per ________________
- Write one line from Proverbs in your journal, _____________per ___________
- Write 5 things your thankful for in your journal, something different, _________________per_____________
- Try something new in front of mom or dad, ______________per______________
- Do something helpful without being asked, ______________per_____________
- Complete 1 pages of bible puzzles or color page, ______________per_______________
- Superbook quest, ____________per_______________
- Cursing, _____________________
- Saying bad things about yourself or others, _____________________
- Falsely accuse others, ____________________
- Being violent (hurting others, throwing, slamming or kicking things)__________________________
- Lying, _____________________
- whiny voice,___________________
- Ask for something without a please, _______________________
Thank You my friend for viewing my blog today and I Pray this helps you,
Dee
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